Okay the title is a bit exaggerated, but honestly not far off. This post is very mundane and a bit long, but thought it fits the community.
I’m visiting my home country and went shopping for pants, there were “30% off everything!” signs with a tiny text underneath that said “member discount” (don’t have membership). Not a problem, did not notice and I don’t care for such marketing tricks to get you into the store but okay.
Picked up couple of pants, went to the cashier and they asked me “do you have our membership?” - I answered no and expected the follow up question whether I’d like to join, but, to my positive surprise the cashier just happily responded “okay, not a problem!” and continued to bag my stuff.
I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said “now I just need your phone number and you can pay”. Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.
I declined and said I don’t want to join and would like to just pay.
The entire interaction after questioning why they need my phone number was awkward, as if I had been the first person to decline, the weirdo, aluminum foil hat wearing hermit.
This was just one of many interactions in the recent years that make me feel as if I was a weirdo for not sharing all my info around. The worst is when everyone keeps telling me “its just an app, just download it and use that why do you make things complicated” or “just sign up you don’t need to pay anything”.
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“Would you like to donate money to us that we pretty pretty promise will go to some vague charity while we reap the tax benefits? No? Are you sure? Fine, we’ll just ask you next time (regardless of your answer this time).”
What tax benefits? Sure they can deduct the donation, but that just cancels out the income from you giving them the money to donate. It’s net zero for the company.
Would you like to donate to the Cut Child Hunger in Half fund?
Plot twist: Literally
Everyone’s approaching this from the privacy aspect, but the real reason isn’t that the cashier thought you were weird, they’re just underpaid and under a lot of pressure from management to try multiple times and in some cases they even get written up for not doing it because it’s deemed part of their job. They hate it just as much as you. Same when you try to cancel your cable subscription or whatever: the calls are recorded and their performance is monitored and they make damn sure they try at least 3 times to upsell you, even when it’s painfully obvious you’re done with them.
Just politely decline until they asked however many times they’re required to ask and move on.
I did politely decline and didn’t want to make a fuss about it - the title is bit exaggerated and from outside perspective it probably wasn’t that dramatic.
I know that the cashier is just doing their job and I didn’t want to make their day any harder than it probably already was. I smiled, thanked and left right after paying.
Hope I don’t sound like a karen, just wanted to share my mundane experience in this community since I really love the discussion that is going on in this thread. I do hope that all of us in this community still remember the human when interacting with people in the real world.
I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said “now I just need your phone number and you can pay”. Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.
“Sure thing, It’s +XX 111 222 3333” Just give them garbage.
That’s probably exactly what I’ll be doing from now on. Was hoping for the simple “would you like to join?” but guess that’s out of style.
Stores will never respect your privacy or data, so you have no obligation to respect a corporation’s expectation of truth.
Just have memorized fake data ready for bullshit like this, say it when asked. Then the retail person who cares even less than you about it (but is forced to pretend they do, in order to survive) can get to their break faster. Win win
Very good point, it seems to be the most popular advice in this thread and will try this next time!
They are told to try to convince people to sign up. So they’re going to act manipulative in order to get you to. It’s just part of their job. Just keep refusing and don’t think much of it.
Yeah, I’m a bit sad that even offline shopping is showing clear signs of dark patterns, but guess it is just so.
Nothing against someone just doing their job though. Can’t always choose where you get your living from.
I think your misinterpreting your own social anxieties as being made to feel like an “outcast”.
The fact of the matter is it’s just not normal to question why a store wants your phone number and I’m sure the cashier was taken aback by the whole situation.
Convenience, not privacy, is the norm. There is going to be tons and tons of awkward social interactions when you go against social norms. Accept it and be proud your advocating for your privacy.
Yeah the title is a bit of an exaggeration of my feelings and as you mentioned, I was a bit anxious too since I have been abroad for quite a long time (and encountered something I did not expect in what I thought was an environment that could not surprise me).
Agreed, it could very well be that I was the first customer to question since the cashier started working there.
Thanks for the uplifting comment!
When I worked retail, I never asked for phone or address or anything. If they volunteered it, I’d do it, but I never asked. Management talked to me about it several times and I just kept not doing it. I think they kept me on in busy times because I could blast through any line of customers faster than anyone else (I wonder why 🤔)
Appreciate people like you!
I encountered this in a computer club (I mean the place where you play per hour to play computer games on a good PC if you lack a suitable one at home). The accounts there were using phone numbers as usernames, and apparently if one is used, it would have to be verified. However, after refusing I was just given one-time accounts every time (with a random string of digits as the username), I just couldn’t save unspent time for another visit so had to pay precisely. Funnily enough, the host herself the first time mentioned one-time phone number rental services for this reason)
Nice of them to atleast offer an alternative!
Another way they get your phone number is mandatory SMS 2FA login. The Dunkin Donuts app does this shitty behavior.
Why is there a dunkin donuts app?
Why is there still Dunkin Donuts?
(Your Area Code) 867-5309. None of the younger store clerks know the song reference when I give them this number. But I get chuckles from older folks in line behind me
There’s usually already an account with that number, so just try it out. You probably don’t even need to actually open an account. BTW, if you do open an account, don’t expect that a fake phone number is going to keep you anonymous. Everything is linked these days. All of the big data brokers are buying and selling information to each other. The second you swipe a card, it’s going to match that card to real information from some random online purchase 95 years ago, and they’ll have all of your real information, including political preferences, address, phone number, all of your email addresses, ethnicity, height, weight, sexual preferences, everything. They have it all, and it’s all linked to every credit card you have ever used.
Pay cash when available, keep cards for when it’s not or it’d be a hassle (your discretion).
I just search online for the stores number and use that. They can bear the burden of their own bullshit spam
I use this everywhere. Regularly get discounts on gasoline.
Grocery stores. Picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy (there have been a couple of months where I couldn’t have afforded the cost if there weren’t discount points on 510-867-5309). Stuff at the hardware store. Target, occasionally.
I’d use that number all the time and not take the rewards. Glad my stupid tech job was actually used for something good.
What’s the reference?
I don’t get it either. I would rather use 8-800-555-35-35 because of the catchy meme ad.
That doesn’t even look like a real phone number. Just use
0118 999 881 999 119 725 3Well that’s easy to remember!
This only works if you’re from a country with 7 digit phone numbers.
How about [your area code] 800-8135?
It’s been more than 20y since the first time I remember sternly declining to give either a phone number or postal code to a cashier in a retail shop. It pissed me off then and still pissed me off now.
The last time I bought a Mac was like 10 years ago, at an independent computer shop that specialized in them. The person at the register insisted on getting my personal info “because Apple needed it” but I didn’t want to give it. The person at the register very slowly sauntered up to their manager, had a long discussion, and eventually they figured something out because I suddenly didn’t need to give my info. It was kind of nervewracking because I was paying cash and I was like: what if I hand it over, and they change their mind? It’s not like I could call the cops, I’m the wrong demographic.
Anyway, whenever I thought about getting an Apple system, I remembered that experience and went with something else.
If you’re visiting from another country, try giving them a number from there (real or fake). What are the odds that their system can cope with international codes?
That could also work, if their system allows more digits than the standard digit length of their own phone numbers.
I’ve bumped into this issue myself when trying to fill my second phone number into input fields which require me to pass a number I actually use at the moment into systems where I do want to give them my phone number…
Maybe just an awkward sales agent, or they thought you were mad at them for in their mind trying to help. I decline phone number and zip code all the time. Also been using someone else’s phone number at grocery stores for years – started by mistake. I don’t care about accumulated points or whatever but discounts at grocery store are pretty significant for me.
But I understand your frustration in general. Keep up the good fight :)
What’s frustrating is that they’re not real discounts. The Club Price is the regular price, and you have to agree to tracking in order to not pay above retail.
Any time a store asks for a phone number, I use the local area code followed by 867-5309, and 9/10 times it works
How is Jenny and does Tommy know?
I can relate, and agree that maybe the cashier found it just as awkward. Tried to be as nice as possible because I know its a tough job!
Thank you and you too, fellow privacy enjoyer!
Yeah, I think this was just a hard sell, and it works. My friend and I were apartment shopping and had already checked out a few places. Then we arrived to look at another complex and after meeting with them, we said we’d let them know if we’d like to move forward. They were very friendly, but pushy, saying “no, you don’t have to do that”, “you’re moving in here!”, that kind of stuff. Being naive and lazy, we just said okay and took the path of least resistance. Oh well, gotta live somewhere!
I had this experience once in an Ikea, of all places. I calmly told the clerk that according to local laws (which I cited), it was illegal for them to demand that information from me (phone number and post code) to sell me anything, and if the computer wouldn’t let them do it, then they should call a manager for an override.
When the manager came, the clerk said “this person refuses to give me their info” — to which I added, “your computer refuses to comply with the law; please override and then notify HQ that they are in contravention of the law and liable for significant fines.”
The next time I went in, they still asked me for the info, but the clerk was able to override. I suspect they just put in fake info for everyone who refused to supply it.
Well done for taking a stand. The problem, as ever, is that most people prefer to comply obediently even if it feels wrong. And then next thing we know, it becomes standard practice.
BTW I have been in your situation and responded similarly. Usually it ends in the clerk inputting dummy info, sometimes after I irritably tell them to do so.
I can imagine that the tactic used on me works - same as making the hide/close/disagree button small. Dark Patterns in real life.
