What the hell do shields have to do with poison, homie? You alright?

Your picks are thoroughly incorrect

Shield is not a weapon

poison no dart

shield??? what?? how would that even work?

the spear doubles as a magic rod

Nice try.

light -> bow

i know what you are

a lot of these i’m not really that attached to but water-shield and ice-hammer seem super obvious to me

Death to America

I like this

First, this was exactly what my daughters needed to shake themselves out of a grumpy morning, so thank you for sharing this

Second, here are the Objectively Correct Answers, in order of correctness:

• Wind shield: Blocking and deflecting blows isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Sending your stupid assailant flying backwards complete with ragdoll physics. Most importantly, you can flip your wind shield over and use it as a hoverboard.
• Thunder bow: Lightning is awesome as long as it’s sufficiently far away from you. Making lightning strike wherever an arrow can reach? Super impressive and solves many potential problems before they become actual, in-your-face problems.
• Earth knuckles: When you punch someone in the face, do you want to zap them? Freeze them? Make them damp? No. You want to punch someone in the face with the power of a falling boulder. You want to hear that “earth cracking” sound effect.
• Fire whip: You’re the person at the party with the devil sticks. You’re the person who holds a pose just a hair too long when entering a room. You were born to wield the fire whip.
• Ice spear: We’re doing crowd control here. We’re freezing our enemies before they can close in on us. We’re surrounding ourselves with statues of things that wish us harm.
• Poison claws: The only unanimous decision in our family. (We have two cats.)
• Nature axe: Creation and destruction. It’s, like, a metaphor, man.
• Darkness dagger: Daggers are all about being sneaky. In and out, quick stabby murder before anyone notices. What’s better than a little extra cover of darkness for this?
• Light sword: Skyward Sword was an underrated game.
• Water hammer: You’ve used everything else, now it’s time to go back through one last time and do a non-lethal run. Hits like a giant wet sponge.

Removed by mod

• Light shield to protect against the darkness
• Poison dagger, because poison coated dagger is a classic
• Darkness sword because it seems to be the most convenient to swing around in the dark when you don’t see anything
• Thunder whip because they have a lot of similarity, long and thin, with a crack on impact
• Wind bow because the arrows fly through the air
• Nature claws because they remind me of a bear’s claws
• Water spear because of Poseidon’s trident
• Earth knuckle because fist fighting is a RETVRN to traditions
• Ice hammer for breaking the ice
• Fire axe because why not, they are the last ones