- cross-posted to:
- hackernews@derp.foo
- cross-posted to:
- hackernews@derp.foo
Office happy hours, client dinners and other after-hours work gatherings lose their luster as more people feel the pull of home
Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin.
After an initial burst of postpandemic happy hours, rubber chicken dinners and mandatory office merriment, many employees are adopting a stricter 5:01-and-I’m-done attitude to their work schedules. More U.S. workers say they’re trying to draw thicker lines between work and the rest of life, and that often means clocking out and eschewing invites to socialize with co-workers. Corporate event planners say they’re already facing pushback for fall activities and any work-related functions that take place on weekends.
You must log in or register to comment.
Honestly we need to move back towards making friends in our communities and not our workplace. I don’t know how it happened but the way we’ve managed to only have friends from work while not knowing the name of our neighbor should never have been the norm. Of course this works out perfect for the nolifers who always get the promotions, and the bosses who need their asses kissed to function.
Because “3rd places” have been hollowed out, especially non monetized ones, there’s fewer places to just meet people
Yeah, it’s overwhelmingly clear that too many people who can make decisions have this idea that “not revenue generating” = worthless.
But muh passive incooooommmeeee
With 3rd places needing to be profitable, it puts a really big stress on them getting throughput. So then that turns them into bars, restaurants, pool halls, or arcades. If they don’t they don’t make money and they can’t keep the space they are renting.
3rd places were always monetized.
Parks and community centers were valid non-monititzed 3rd places.
And whether or not you agree with them, places of worship were often an additional third place.
Parks and community spaces are presently non-monetized and usage has not changed, so it doesn’t really make sense to include them in this discussion.
Same with place of worship.
There are a lot of gated parks
We created a car-centric sprawled out world where you no longer engage with community members face to face, as much of your time outside of your house is simply walking to your car to drive to the nearest commercial center.
I’ve been talking with a friend about this after he pointed out the nuclear family really is fairly recent as a post WW2 thing. We’ve seen multigenerational households increase in the wake of the pandemic. Part of me thinks we’re going to see a movement back to that.
If people stay closer to home, that means friends from growing up are closer. They aren’t spread out across the whole country.
This is one of the most sadest and poignant things I’ve read in a long time. Spot on.
Ah yes I can decide between spending time with my wife and children or hanging out with coworker talking about work I’ve just been in for 8 hours. What a hard choice
This and this other comment are stark opposites of life.
Poor guy - I only work for the money - if I’d have enough money I would only spend time with my wife ane children and family and friends.
I absolutely love spending time with my kids, don’t get me wrong.
They’re seeing the abuse and it’s terrifying. Luckily she sleeps in until about 2pm on weekends, so I use those mornings (including this morning) to take them to the park and spend time with them.
I’ve been trying to leave but she keeps threatening to take them away. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to call a divorce lawyer on Monday.
I do absolutely everything for my kids. I cook dinner every night, I bathe them every night, I get them ready and take them to school every morning. I am a man so I’m terrified the court will rule in her favor and she’ll take them away.
At night I’m reminded of how horrible of a person and father I am. I’m so tired of it.
Edit: I also absolutely love my job. I work on photocopiers. I feel like I help the community and make people happy. My job almost feels like a hobby to me. I am high functioning autistic and my obsession is anything mechanical, so it’s the perfect job for me.
Mate you need evidence - collect a lot of evidence. Video and audio recording - messages - witnesses - everything you can get.
Hope you make it!
I am happy with my job. I am paid a fair wage for the work I do. I am given a ton of leeway with arriving late/leaving early to accommodate my kids and their various goings on. All in all, it’s a great arrangement.
I am still out the door at the very minute my shift ends. Not a second later.
Yep!
I also drive a little bit faster headed home lol
Towards the “mines”? Not so much.
On one hand, I’m a bit bummed out that my generally positive workplace culture has all but completely evaporated in the wake of the pandemic and nobody wants to even come in to the office anymore, let alone mingle or hang out after work. I genuinely enjoyed the company of a few of my co-workers and even though I was definitely a 5:01-and-done kind of guy, I would still make an effort to be friends with the ones that I liked outside of a professional setting.
On the other hand, I absolutely cannot blame anybody for not wanting to put in the social effort. For a long time I was a “fuck it, it’s quittin’ time, I’m out of here!” person and I would blow out of the office after flatly rejecting my co-workers requests to hang after work because I just didn’t like to socialize that much back then, and I would resent people who were pushy about going out for drinks or staying out really late at night. Despite the fact that I do enjoy doing those things now that I’m older, I don’t want to be “that guy” to anyone else, and I refrain from judging anybody for declining to socialize after work. Maybe they are introverted and shy? Maybe they don’t want to catch COVID? Maybe they have a kid to go home to? Maybe they just don’t like my company and they want to go home and read a book or something? Whatever it is, it’s none of my business, so more power to those people.
I kind of have similar vibes. I joined a company months after acquisition with a long 2 year migration to joining the mothership standards. During that time beers were opened at 4pm on Thursdays for team knowledge share sessions that carried over into happy hours that had a company tab for the first round. In this environment ive made lifelong friends, served as groomsmen and pallbearers for colleagues that I befriended, but also accelerated my career by making professional relationships with folks beyond the sphere of my immediate work duty relationships.I do think there was a “terroir” of conditions that made it work. I don’t think it can easily be replicated. But it kind of bums me out that the current work culture described in the post basically blocks this from ever happening again. I don’t think I’ll be able to informally provide the mentorship and guidance that I so greatly benefited from when I was young and new to the now new generation, or cultivate friendships like I used to.
My company is similar (although there’s still people trying to organise things) but while things changed over the pandemic, they were already planning on full hot desking and reduced floor space (lucky for them they’d just implemented the infrastructure for large scale WFH as the lockdown began). The sense of a “Team” has completely gone, the majority of people I work with are based in other parts of the country or even overseas, going to a social event at my local office would just be mingling with people I don’t know, don’t work with, and only have the name at the top of our paychecks in common. So I don’t bother, and they wonder why.
Hang with people I barely know on a personal level after work? Why would I do that? I’ve got another full-time job waiting for me: Life/parent. I barely have time for my own family, let alone a work ‘family’.
… In a (generally) mildly toxic environment where I feel judged and under appreciated?
Count me out.
Workplaces used to be a lot more casual.
It can be beneficial to keep a good relationship with your coworkers. I’ve had more than a few opportunities come my way because I have a network of friends that I made at work.
“Work family?” You mean like the Manson Family?
No one has time. I got shit to do, errands to run. Kids to pick up 39 min ago.
I stay as long as possible because I don’t want to go home to my abusive wife.
Sometimes I can’t sleep on Sundays because I’m so excited to go to work the next day.
This and this other comment are stark opposites of life.
I need help.
Also wages are shit compared to inflation. I don’t know how anyone can afford to eat out and have drinks unless they are killing it.
In my case one of the bosses pays for the drinks. Makes it a lot easier.
Nobody wants to spend time with the kind of people who don’t want to go home after work.
We all know the type with their overly loud laughing at the bosses jokes.
Are they gonna pay me for the time I spend at these "social events? No? Eat a bag o’ dicks then.
I like my coworkers but work already doesn’t leave me enough time at home for projects and hobbies and relaxing. No way I am spending extra time away after work.
Mandatory office happy hours or team dinners should be paid time. If not, events should be held during work day hours.
NLRB would likely agree. If your employer compels you to be present, they need to pay you.
These events are a way for the employer to get free labour out of their employees as you’ll most likely be talking about your similar interest which is work.
I like how everyone they interview for this is someone no one really wants to hang out with. They sound nice but come on. If a fat dude who wears an LSU jersey to work every Friday is ever like, “I’m gonna be cooking some shit up in the park next Wednesday after work. Got a keg. Come on by on your way home.” we’d all go get a plate.
I clock out at 5 because I’ve gotta get to my other job.
