So I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late thirties and before that I was a mess, job to job etc. then got lucky and worked for a company that afforded me the chance to study for my dream job without work pressure.
I am now a software developer and although I went from being the smartest person in the groups I roamed to the dumbest person at work I still have half a foot in my old life of drugs and poor decisions (although the usage has dropped by 95% and I’ve got a good routine and go to bed early).
I feel like a pretentious dick when at a party and someone asks what I do for work, I kinda feel ashamed saying I’m a software developer. Like a fraud I guess.
How to stop this?
I had heard of imposter syndrome before, but I wasn’t sure if this was it or not.
It’s good to be aware of I guess, and although my mind can be quite irrational with these kind of things I will try to keep it in mind.
Thanks.
Yeah, I was thinking “Hello, Imposter Syndrome” when reading your last paragraph. I deal with it a lot, even after 15 years in my area of expertise I still tend to downplay and undersell myself. Being aware and recognising it is a good step to dealing with it, I think.
The most fun part about imposter syndrome for me is that i even have it for ADHD. I was diagnosed at a young age, and then again - independently - as an adult. Still there are moments where i feel like i might not even have ADHD. I just have a collection of Symptoms that match the characteristics of ADHD but if i just wasn’t so lazy I would totally be able to do things like all the other “normal” people. Like multi hour study sessions and shit.
I have to constantly reaffirm myself that I might have to do things differently, and medication is something i can and should maybe use to help with getting my shit together and that’s okay, because I really do have ADHD and I’m not just pretending to have it because i’m lazy… I think …