Yet another simple question I’m surprised I haven’t asked yet, given my name.
Anyway, when it comes to kink (or otherwise, I don’t know what you vanilla types get up to at night. :P), would you classify yourself as a dominant, submissive or switch?
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For me, it’s complicated. I guess I’d call myself a switch.
I have a friend who calls me Master who I erp with, but honestly as of late I just wanna relax, not worry and let someone else take charge.
Likewise, when looking at stuff online, I fantasize about being the sub rather than the dom.
I also have no interest in stories about dominant men having huge harems of dry emotionless women. Blegh.
Yes.
All my prior partners were submissive - which is fine, I love you all <3 - but sometimes I wanted to be the one struggling to breathe as a huge tiger length raped my muzzle, frankly (>////<). I’ve had little blips of playing with others who are switches and doms but it’s quite unusual and never in a relationship, just yiffing.
A few years ago my fiancé left me - long story - and an old friend approached me about dating. I declined but told them it’s because I’m still emotionally in distress and trying to salvage the relationship, that it wasn’t a ‘I’m not interested ever’ no. He’s really sweet, almost to a fault, and I didn’t want to hurt him because I wasn’t in a good state of mind.
Fast forward a bit (couple years) and he brings me into neos where he is relaxing with his master. We are just chatting and whatnot when he again poses a question, in the most nonchalant way: “so, want to be my pet?” - after much blushing and squirming, I accepted.
Over the past couple years I’ve learned that I really enjoy a wide spectrum of things, relating to dom/sub and top/bottom, at least on a mental/rp level (long distance). He has leaned into my enjoyment of orgasm control and denial, I’ve been (willingly) coerced into being vored, and broader things like figuring out I’m (at least irl) demisexual, that I really really really really like being a service top, depending on my mood and who it is I like pushing away and letting others take control, that I really like ‘forcing’ subs to top/dom me (a certain adorable fennec being ordered to fuck my muzzle, though not cum until I signal [if I signal~], is just chefs kiss)… while I gently push my master into things I want to do with him like public play, being at all aggressive (again, sweet basically to a fault), and even extremes like rape-play (I trust him a lot and have known him a long time). We have discussed briefly the idea of adding another link to the chain, by bringing another (sub) into our weird situation for my, uh, strong sex drive, too.
Present-day, I’m the pet of a dragon who has a boyfriend as well as a master himself. Far and away I have the strongest sex drive. But the headspace - from loving sucking his cock and getting headrubs when I get the chance, to just pawing off thinking about being owned and desired (something my ex was… lacking in communicating), and that not fading with my irl struggles (I’m disabled), made me fall in love with someone that I’ve known for forever but never saw myself feeling like that towards them. The fact that I don’t have to see someone (immediately) as ‘attractive’ to want them through other traits that I didn’t notice I was seeking out before, was an interesting realization, and I’m glad I said ‘yes’ when he asked the question of if I wanted to be his pet, as (among other obvious things) I might still have not made that realization otherwise.
So tl;dr I’m all over the map but if you want a hung hybrid wolf-tiger-fox that loves to both ravage your holes as well as whimper and plead for release (and many, many more things~), yes hi hello. Because sexuality isn’t a multiple choice choose-one question but actually a blank page waiting to be filled.
(as is this long-form answer, sorry xP)
dunno. I generally only like stores from the sub’s point of view, and put myself in the sub role in images. I’d probably have to actually play to give a real answer though, so I’ll say tentative sub, maybe switch.
I think wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world really nailed it with their tl:dr.
Stuff like that isn’t really so much a one-choice kind of thing, but really just a ton of grey areas in between.Things like this are very hard to express in words!
It’s important too, to remember that partners likely have things they are interested in, even if they don’t realize it, and once they do sometimes it can be hard or embarrassing to talk about. Sex as a whole is still so hush hush and discussion frowned upon, so some people (points at myself) are still figuring out wtf we like and how/when/who. It’s so important to be supportive to your playmates and partners.
I am absolutely not into vore, but my master is deeply, and I want him to be happy so now and then I will indulge him (and go to meets during cons with him, and get asked questions that I don’t understand and aaaaAAAAAHHHH). Likewise, he’s not at all interested in cbt or orgasm control, but he likes watching/hearing me plead, blush, and drip all over. We have more not-matches than matches for kinks, but communicating things and just enjoying not only the sex but also the person is really important. I’ll suck him all day if allowed (woof~) but I need that affection, that reassurance, that yeah I’m asking to be treated like a horny desperate deprived wolf toy but I am also in an intimate relationship, and just that… care, I guess, the compassion, that we can talk and act and try things openly without judgement, it’s so much better.
The importance of communication, as well as being supportive, is just huge. For what you know, and what you discover along the way.
Oh yeah, funny how that works. Even in some of the most welcoming places, it can be very difficult to talk about things your already well into, much less speaking up about things you might think you could be into! Especially since, at least IMO, expressing yourself in those more…let’s say basal/carnal desires can really help you understand more about yourself on an emotional level. >.>b
I agree on the whole being supportive thing, too. Relationships, be it just a FWB thing or something more concrete, are really built on trust. Knowing you can say things that might sound strange or try new things really does make things better in the long run, tho. It can be hard when your trying to figure…out your tastes. Sometimes, they can be horribly specific/ situation based…other times, going off the beaten path and trying something new to you can open up a whole new world of enjoyable things to do!
I am a submissive. Even by non-sexual social interaction. I find verbal speach difficult to catch beginning and end of. I don’t see the sentences like I do on the forums. I suppose its only natural I be a submissive sexually.
Though I am not one for bdsm. I find humiliation worth a try though. Light hearted teasing and then the take the leed. I love stories and erotica where the submissive is being stripped by the dominant. Slow very descriptive depictions of them being declothed.
I’ll give answering this a shot, then…i’m a switch. Hard to say which way I lean though, it all depends on the setting and the other part(y-ies).
One of my main kinks is tickle torture. If you put someone in front of me who’s all submissive, helpless, and sensitive…I find myself easily slipping into a dominant role.
However, I also really enjoy seeing myself in that role as well! Something about being unable to hold back, and be driven further and further into hysterics, just…feeling helpless and not in control, it’s really rather freeing in it’s own right.
I have noticed that if I go too long without being able to express my submissive needs, I get into a pretty miserable mood, though.So it might be fair to say I am a switch, leaning Dominant…but there’s just something so freeing and relaxing about being a submissive, that I couldn’t go without it.
