Centrist take: If you can’t get a decent sear on a gas stove you need to learn how to cook.
I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?
Look up milk steak, it’s a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.
It better come with a side of jellybeans.
It better come with a side of jellybeans.
Raw.
Is it better than rum ham?
Sortilege bacon?
No. Just no.
Magnets.
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God I hope it’s neither.
The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don’t eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.
Looking at that, if it’s a result of boiling, I’m starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.
As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.
I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!
It’d basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.
Some people don’t actually know how to cook and think “I got it to X temperature” means they did it right.
Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife’s pussy: completely fucking dry
Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.
Wait, what??
He had a very judgy but supposed to be “funny” video about mocking the song WAP, I.e “wet ass pussy.” In it, he read the lyrics, saying “wet ass p-word,” and stating that his wife, a doctor, told him that if their pussys were that wet, they had a medical condition and should see a doctor. He was trying to be wry, but it just came off very smarmy and like he was introduced to pussy via the song.
Of course the song is extremely hyperbolic and done for artist license, so old benny the shithead has been mocked mercilessly ever since about how his wife explained dry pussies to him, with the secondary implication being that his own wifes pussy is very dry when they have sex, because hes a repulsive troll.
If you added some ketchup and a side of McDonald’s you’d be even MORE of a political player in the US
That’s not well done, that’s congratulations.
It looks like it was boiled… And not in like a Sous Vide way …
That’s not well done, that’s YOU TRIED
It’s not done well, either.
Year end bonus
Very close to a standing ovation
I don’t think anyone is fuming as much as that steak was. And 0 flavor. No salt, pepper, garlic, or marinade.
I’m only mad about what he did to that steak
Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it’s your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck’s sake.
As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.
Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.
I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.
A stunning lack of research or common sense in both cases.
MFer figured out how to turn beef into pork
Thanks, I thought I was looking at ‘the other white meat.’
I’m just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.
We joke about my grandma like that, she had this whole process with store bought sausage to remove the salt but then it’s so bland… “she does this and that to the sausage, boil, three times with another thing, remove the casings, and then to finish it off you toss the sausage away and just eat the packaging.”
I’ve heard the same joke about eating a native bird here: pluck the bird and boil it in a pot with a leather boot. After boiling for four hours remove the water, toss the bird and eat the boot.
I want to make a joke about fascist Turkey but not sure how
Well, wait until you see this:
So this ‘alpha’ thought he could own some libs by steaming a steak?
That steer is going to come back and haunt his ass for such disrespect!
Fuck, I am a trans non-binary market socialism stan and I am more upset by the ruined meat…
That thing looks like Spam cosplaying as a steak. Is this what anti-wokeness does? Do they sear off your tastebuds and feed you a block of shoeleather when you join the club? Honey… Just come to one Pride BBQ please we need to start walking back that trauma and teach you what a proper fucking sear looks like.
The very definition of “own the libs”. He’s happy that we’re outraged how he ruined a good cut of meat by cooking it wrongly. He wasted his own money and deprived himself of a good steak, but he can at least be smug about it
Not as good as steamed hams, but okay.
An animal died for that. At least do a good job cooking the damn thing lol
*Ruined a steak
I’m wondering if that’s a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down
Somehow managed to make it look like a slice of pie.
My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.
Probably tastes like one too. I bet I’ve chewed on ice cream sticks with more flavour than that.
Did he boil the damn thing?!
Needs some jelly beans on the side, raw.
Jelly bean confit with a starburst and Kool aid demi glace
Sounds classy
I was going to suggest he might haves used gas to boil water to cook that thing.
Right. It was definitely the water that boiled. Boiling a steak sounds like a great way to vaporize it.
If this is not satire, i hope that potential Chud ate that entire fucking thing
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It looks like it was boiled. I’m sure there’s a right way to boil steak (and I will pop a cap in the first motherfucker to say “sous vide”; sous vide is “boiling” like searing is “throwing the steak directly into a furnace”), but I’ll never find out because it’s fucking sacrilege.
If it’s a chewy old steak from an old cow you can pressure cook it, then it passes through the boiling to the other side and becomes tender again.
Then you shred it up and put like taco or donair spices on it and put it on rice or in a tortilla or something… It’s questionable whether it’s still a steak at this point, but it is tasty after being boiled which is more than you can say for OP’s steak
Pressure cooking isn’t boiling (I think it’s closer to baking, in how it cooks the meat? Open to correction there), but you’re bang-on right it would be better than that disaster up top!
Pressure cooking is really its own process. It’s wet heat, either in saturated steam or in superheated water depending if you put the meat up on a rack or just on the bottom. For this sort of dish I would just put it on the bottom in the water.
The temperature is quite a bit elevated but not as high as baking, around 250F which would never cook your steak in the oven. It’s more like an accelerated braise? You can make baked beans in 30 minutes instead of like… All day in the oven.
My wife is from Taiwan and their culture makes fantastic braised beef dishes, so there’s definitely nothing wrong with getting beef wet! I think it’s all about knowing the process and not just winging it and making something gross.
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Well then you’re not just boiling it, are you? It’s like throwing a bunch of spices and fresh vegetables in cup noodles; at that point, you may as well just make it properly.
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Since we’re talking about how boiling steak is a bad idea, we are indeed talking about just boiling it. Does that steak in the picture look like it got a sear in a pan? If course not, so I’m not sure how “it can be fine if you also sear it” is relevant.
I didn’t realise that I’d have to defend “boiling is a bad way to cook steak”, frankly. It’s not a hot take.
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By the looks of it, by starting with a porkchop
Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.
Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as “owning the libs?” “I’m gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That’ll show those commies a thing or three!” Yes, I’m very “triggered” by your easily preventable deaths. Please don’t kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn’t go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.
what boggles me is that politicians encourage it! like sure they have no empathy and just want power, but in what universe is it a winning bet to make your voter base actively endanger themselves?
I agree with your point, but I hope you’re not seriously buying into the whole “gas stoves are a health risk” bullshit.
I assumed the beef with gas (pun partially intended) was it’s burning a fossil fuel and releasing CO² whereas electric could potentially be drawing from carbon free sources.
Not that gas stoves are a direct risk to the user (although the one in the OP might be if that’s the best it can do)I have no opinion of gas stoves, although they would not be my personal preference.
No? Really? You don’t think gas and its combustion byproducts can ever be bad for you?
What are the known health effects from NO2 exposure?
In a 1992 meta-analysis of studies on this topic, scientists at the EPA and Duke University found that nitrogen dioxide exposure that is comparable to that from a gas stove increases the odds of children developing a respiratory illness by about 20 percent.
(…)
In addition to acute effects such as asthma symptoms, long-term nitrogen dioxide exposure has also been linked to chronic lung disease and increased mortality in general.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-health-risks-of-gas-stoves-explained/
There is a nonzero chance that we’re looking at a piece of wood
New tv show idea: Is It Steak?
