One thing NTs have is an indirectly acknowledged (sometimes unacknowledged) hierarchy of power. They’re constantly aware of this hierarchy and their position in this hierarchy. The majority of their behaviors are related to this hierarchy. Since many autistic people aren’t even aware of this hierarchy, we violate it often and upset the group. I argue that this is why we get diagnosed as the broken/wrong person: we disagree with the very structure that defines what is broken/wrong.

/c/austim’s helpful resources has a link to a book written by an autistic person that studied NTs and explains what they are like to us. The book is A Field Guide to Earthlings: An Autistic/Asperger View of Neurotypical Behavior. It’s free at the link or you can purchase it in a more convenient format. I found it highly insightful.

The only neurotypical person I know well is my sister. The only major differences we’ve actually established is that she has significantly more energy for activity-filled days than I do, and she doesn’t understand the concept of being paralyzed by indecision.

Neurotypicals are people with traits, likes, dislikes, phobias and strengths like you, but less extreme. The differences can be small if looked at one by one, but added up it causes a completely different lifestyle.

They may really hate the sound of styrofoam on glass, but they don’t literally black out from the sound.

They can find it very uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing to socialize in a new environment, too, e.g. a social event at a new job. However, they adapt faster and don’t have to go to the dentist the next week because they clamped their teeth so hard they chipped a tooth.

They may be good at and enjoy [activity/skill] like you, but not find it relaxing and mentally healing to spend 6 straight hours on a Saturday evening practicing [activity/skill] home alone while forgetting to eat, so they have to put in conscious effort where you don’t.

Probably not true about all ND traits, but many are things that exist in most people and are either magnified or muted in ND people.

I’ve never been diagnosed ND; though I had a psychologist suggest I might have Asperger’s at one point back when that was the language used, it was never followed up on. So maybe I’m ND? But I wouldn’t claim to be.

But no two people are neurally identical. Saying that someone is neurodivergent essentially has to mean that they’re far enough from the baseline/average to qualify as such.

I know there are specific diagnostic criteria, but those are largely based on determining how different someone is from typical and how it affects them. But almost every trait that is present with autism is present in neurotypical people as well, just to a different degree.

That’s not a universal statement or anything, just a vague generalization.

I can’t really say from personal experience – mostly because I’m quite certain that I would offend someone in-so-doing – but I have an idea that might offer some insights:

There’s a link in the right hand sidebar of this community to helpful resources; from there is a link to Autism tests. Click on the AQ-10 test, and take it. After you finish, look back over your answers, see if you can guess which questions would have made your score lower, and change those answers accordingly. Play around with it a bit, and maybe even think of it as a game. If you get your score down to zero… that’s roughly how the most “neurotypical” person would have answered. That’s not to say that all NTs will answer that way, but it gives you an idea of the traits that suggest neurotypicality, with the opposing answer obviously suggesting neurodivergent traits. Analytically, this also means that the more strongly you gravitate towards the ND trait answers, the less “typical” is your natural behavior.

You could also do this with the 50 question version of the test, but I imagine that would take a lot more time and effort with a much more limited return on investment, as compared to just doing the 10… but even as I’m writing this parenthetical, I’m finding myself tempted to go do it anyway. That’s probably one of the ND traits in me.

(Alternatively, if you’re familiar with the structure of HTML, you can easily figure out all of the answers from the page source.)

I suppose I fall into this category. It’s not that I never have any problems in my life or that I’m perfect. I have just never felt like my mental or emotional issues were ever outside of my control.

My older sister was diagnosed as autistic in her 30’s. I looked up to her a lot growing up and I tried to be like her. I picked up a lot of her habits, and I do occasionally wonder whether I might be somewhere on the spectrum or if it’s just the influence from her when I was growing up. The difference is that she had breakdowns where she had to be institutionalized, where I have never encountered that. Maybe I will someday, maybe I won’t.

I don’t think anyone else I know would describe themselves as neurotypical. It’s kind of similar to the old adage that the average American household has 2.5 kids, but you never see anyone with exactly 2.5 kids. Everyone has their own problems. There were a few years of my life when I might have been diagnosed with germaphobia if I was so inclined. A lot of people are only minority afflicted, or are good at hiding it. The same applies for physical problems too.

Here’s a video where an ASD/NT couple take a test together and share their thoughts and how and why they answer differently.

To me it looks like an awfully dull and ignorant experience. It’s been my life’s experience that neurotypicals generally don’'t engage in learning as a passion. They only learn what they feel they must in order to succeed. This is a mistake in my opinion. Learning is so good for the brain and body.

Most neurotypical people I know tend to be incredibly stupid and have narrow views of everything, including the scope of their own hobbies and passions.

But maybe that’s just because I don’t know many people and am in an area full of those kinds of people 🤷🏻‍♂️