• @agegamon@beehaw.org
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      5 months ago

      Literally only the best strategies here! I mean lets recap:

      • Threaten to buy company then double down and agree in writing as a bullying tactic: check
      • Roll a nat 1 on your intimidation check: check
      • Be forced to follow through when called out on being mentally an 8 yo by the feds: check
      • Fire critical employees, like basically all of them: check
      • Yoink verification away from public news orgs: check
      • Let anyone pay to be “legit,” even if they’re parodying you: check
      • Rename twitter to the stupidest thing imagined since head-on (apply directly to the forehead): check
      • Gut content moderation policies but also stop enforcing regardless: check
      • Post own hate content and racism to the platform: check
      • “Accidentally” run ads next to hate content: check
      • Be told your sign sucks and to take it down by city: check (lol)
      • Become a living embodiment of “big yikes” energy while telling aforementioned advertisers to “go fuck yourselves” on live TV: check
      • Hallucinate about making x into a libertarian wechat alternative: check
      • Tank the value of the company while blaming literally anyone else for your failures: mission in progress, #1 priority

      10/10 solid buy, gonna grab some long calls rn. The koch boys and rupert murderjock must be holding back a tsunami of jealousy by now 🤣

      • @Thisfox@sopuli.xyz
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        45 months ago

        You left out “throttle diaster information accounts when the disaster is happening” (Japan earthquake).

        • @agegamon@beehaw.org
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          34 months ago

          Check!

          Also, I forgot all the tomfuckery he pulled with starlink in Ukraine, cutting off access and the like.

          It’s truly a testament to how much shit this guy has done that we forget so much of it.

    • Powderhorn
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      105 months ago

      I’m pretty certain I know how Musk would respond to this. It’s inappropriate for Beehaw.

    • @some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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      105 months ago

      He’s a genius playing 8D chess. You just don’t understand. By this time next week, Twitter will be the only website in the world and Lonnie will laugh at you from mars. Just watch!

      • @renard_roux@beehaw.org
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        45 months ago

        Insert Bond Villain Plot™ where he’s secretly buying all the EMP-hardened server parks in the world, and it’s getting ready to orbital-nuke everything except Shitter servers back to the stone age.

        And of course he will brick every phone and computer everywhere, so nobody will be able to use Shitter, but God damnit, it will be the only site left!

    • 4dpuzzle
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      195 months ago

      There are still people around who believe that he’s the tech messiah sent to deliver them to Mars.

        • 4dpuzzle
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          45 months ago

          Of course you wouldn’t. I’m talking about the mob that would. A mob with no more than a few neurons collectively is a danger to everyone else.

        • @Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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          25 months ago

          But would you let him put a chip inside your head, potentially controlling your thoughts and access to information?

  • @HalJor@beehaw.org
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    195 months ago

    I’d love to see the investment banks start to call their loans that financed this purchase in the first place.

  • Gormadt
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    185 months ago

    I’m honestly a bit surprised

    Surprised that it’s only 71% that is

  • @CrypticCoffee@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    Maybe, but I don’t think Musk is running twitter for money. He’s probably doing what every billionaire is doing. Buying media to shape public opinion. Turning twitter right leaning to build public support for conservative policies that will benefit his other business is probably the play.

    Why worry losing 20bn when he could gain 50bn for SpaceX(SeX. Just seen that…) and Tesla? Sounds like a good return on investment.

  • katy ✨
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    135 months ago

    I used to keep a couple of bookmarks of people I liked to follow to view on Nitter; now I don’t even care about that mostly because the most of them left Twitter.

  • @Thisfox@sopuli.xyz
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    115 months ago

    When the Japanese Earthquake information twitter account was throttled a few days ago, after the earthquake, there seemed to be this general realisation that they were not going to be able to use it for disaster communication any more…

  • Amju Wolf
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    95 months ago

    As easy as it is to hate what he did to Twitter I wonder how much of that original value was just “VC hype” and now people see it for the failure it has always been like all social media in a way. Turns out it’s pretty hard making money out of non paying users.

      • @Hazzia@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 months ago

        Man now I’m wondering who are the nerds holding up that last 29% of value it has. i can’t imagine that many people paying for verification.

        Whoever you are: just let go~ let Xitter sink unceremoniously into the abyss~

    • @ExLisper@linux.community
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      5 months ago

      The original value was based on ad revenue which is down now. It has nothing to do with VC hype or non paying users.

  • @DavidGarcia
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    85 months ago

    I bet he’ll rename it to “SEX” sooner or later