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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Mid-30s, two kids, ended a 13-year relationship last year. Still going through the divorce process.

    I see myself as a speck of dust in the universe. I am not special. The ‘machine’ will keep running with or without me. My control over events is limited.

    It’s not all doom and gloom, though. There are two things that I can control to some degree:

    • How I choose to react to external events
    • How I choose to spend my time

    I start the day with a list of things to get done (make bed, clean litter box, dishes, run X miles, play game with kids after school, etc), and I just stick to it. My ‘mission’ for the day is to complete every single item on the list no matter how I feel. Each task can be part of a longer-term goal, such as learning a new skill or getting fitter.

    When I feel down, I ask myself why I’m feeling such a way and I try to pin down the source of distress (usually a memory). Then, I pick an ‘easy’ item on my list and I get it done. I avoid looking stuff up on the Internet or overthinking. I just get the task done. If I’m still feeling bleak after, I pick another task.

    I hope this helps.