I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
At the end of the day I’m really small, there are billions of other people, no one will notice me gone in the grand scheme of things.
Look at all these people who don’t know you at all trying to offer you help.
Yeah we are all insignificant on a long timeline. Who cares? That’s the ultimate freedom to do what you want with your life.
I’ve been in a mental hospital for depression twice. I understand a bit of where you’re coming from (I’m a straight cis man so I can’t speak to the rest). I’m telling you IT DOES GET BETTER. Hang in there!
Small things matter! And nobody else is any more or less important than you are. People are just small in general, and that’s a good thing!
I’ll noticeb if you’re home. Everyone else commenting here is going to notice you’re gone too. I’m sure there are people around that are going to notice as well. You might not have found your place, your people, or your purpose yet but that’s fine. There’s time enough for that, but only if you’re still here.
But who gives a shit? It simply doesn’t matter how small we all are compared to the universe. Live is about living it. And even if your life currently sucks it will allways get better. Especially at the age of 22 everything can change very quickly.