I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.

In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.

Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.

I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.

My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.

  • SmurfNuts@kbin.social
    251·
    6 months ago

    I was literally in your position mentally and practically situationally just a brief bit of time ago. The situation isn’t fixed yet but my mental state has rebounded to a much better equilibrium.

    So I say to you, having just been through the darkest period of my life, you can make it through. I didn’t think I could this time. It really fucking felt like I couldn’t.

    But I just kept saying to myself give it another day and see what happens. The days still sucked for a good stretch still but then things got brighter and brighter.

    Is everything now sunshine and rainbows? Not even fucking close. But does it feel like there’s still hope? For sure. There is. I just had to stick around long enough to realize there is.

    So I get where you’re coming from. I do. Shit looks fucked right now. Like there’s no upside to anything . No hope. No future. No peace. No happiness.

    Yet there almost certainly is to each of those things. It’s just impossible to see right now.

    Stay around for a little longer. See how things look then.

    And as a final thought here’s a mantra my best friend likes to live by and I have come to adopt as well.

    The only real way out is through.

    • skymtf@pricefield.orgOP
      92·
      6 months ago

      When I was being abused by my dad, adults told me hey you’ll be 18 one day. I’m an adult now, and fuck things actually got worse

      • maniii@lemmy.worldEnglish
        91·
        6 months ago

        Life,for you, will get better. Do something that you wish that the “future you” will thank the “present you” for doing and the “past you” will applaud at your effort.

        The “past you” will always praise any and all actions “present you” takes today. “Future you” is the beneficiary of “present you” taking action.

        Live your life one second, one minute at a time. Take at least one step. Dont worry about results. Just do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. To help “future you”.

      • intensely_human@lemm.eeEnglish
        2·
        5 months ago

        I used to think of life as an experience, as a thing I would pass through and see things along the way.

        Now I see life as an opportunity to do things. If anything, I’m the experience creator, creating experiences for other people.

        In my own experience, I’ve found the second point of view works much better for my adult life.

        Anyone who implied life would just “get better” for you was unfortunately peddling misinformation. Life can be made better by you. That’s what being 18 is all about: the power and the responsibility are now in your hands, which means you no longer have to just take what comes your way.