• CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        Imagine older thumb looking feds getting sick of these new guys queueing up Mumford and Sons and bragging about microbrews at the FBI office parties. Shortening COINTELPRO to “coiney”. Planting cocaine in bio-degradeable baggies on black people.

    • Owl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      That’s because they just put FBI uniforms on the same dapper artisan hipsters that usually show up to stock photo shoots.

      • Findom_DeLuise [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        He sends you to a version of Guantanamo where instead of blaring obnoxious 90s dad metal to scare you into submission, it’s obscure lofi indie Appalachia-core ballads that are all about lumberjacks with opioid addictions and Oedipus complexes, and the chorus of EVERY FUCKING SONG includes a banjo solo that does NOT fit the mix because the one engineer recording these fucking things mixes on a pair of 1980s Sony Walkman headphones and has severe hearing loss in one ear and can’t tell that the mix is terrible, and nobody tells him because the last time someone criticized his mixing/production choices he self-flagellated in the studio for half an hour and everyone was extremely uncomfortable.

        He still billed them for that time.

          • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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            5 months ago

            I was trying to think of what it is, and it’s the end result of reddit masculine ideals. Short on the side slick back with le epic beard. It’s the haircut a 1930s guy would wear under a fedora and is therefore the hair equivalent. It also just reeks of this faux put togetherness these weirdos have which is once again based on having no aesthetic sense at all, it enters into what they wear as well, they suit up cause sitcom and also cause every ask reddit thread about what women think is hot has wear a suit as advice every time, which is dumb suits are dumb. I’ve heard these weirdos talk about what watch to wear like anyone wears a watch. They never played dress up, asked absolute morons and people like themselves online how to dress after they noticed dressing like Matt Christman is pathetic looking, did feodras and dragon button ups and now in their 30s to middle age have learned nothing. Fuck these people, I am mistaken for a homeless person or someone doing high fashion about evenly cause I know how to fucking dress myself and have a look. They need a walk through for everything and it shows.