Not for a lack of trying, I assure you. It’s just that no matter how hard I try, my mind won’t accept it.
The thought of life and existence being ultimately meaningless (Something else my mind fights against, despite knowing it’s true) is too much of a blow to my psyche to overcome and look at light-heartedly.
I’m just so desperate to have a purpose and meaning in my life, but at the same time I can’t sincerely believe in any religion or afterlife. I try to “live in the moment” and “be happy and make others happy”, but it just isn’t enough. I need something more.
Edit: Thank you everyone for their responses so far, I do read them all. They give me something to ponder and think about, maybe even leading to a solution.
The next step is to forge your own meaning. It doesn’t stop at “there is no meaning”. Once you see the void you can also see that there is space to build and no zoning code to stop you. You can, must in fact, decide why you choose to live, why you choose to act and how you justify your actions. You are the ultimate and only authority.
That’s really hard. We’re used to always being able to lean on something outside ourselves for purpose and guidance. And, to some extent, you still can. Back when you believed in external, inate authorities you were choosing what you believed. Those powers, whatever they were, were never real. You were to some extent projecting your own beliefs, desires, and ideals on to those things; church, state, god, whatever.
Find those childlike beliefs and clean the ichor of false gods off of them. Look at them from every angle. Decide which ones to keep, which ones to discard, and what you need to build from scratch. Whatever you come up with, polish it until it shines. Like a blade.
Another suggestion; check out Buddhism. The Buddhists figured out the same premise from a different angle thousands of years ago. The more grounded, secular forms of buddhism have a lot to say about confronting the void of meaning and carrying on in the aftermath.
May I introduce you to the immortal dialectical science of Marxism-Leninism?
I say that half in jest, but becoming active in a communist organization really did give me a worthwhile purpose to my life and something greater to strive for.
Theeeees. It’s much easier to build your own purpose and meaning when you’re working with comrades as part of a community.
“nothing matters” is scope error. fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your perspective) we are weird creatures with desires and dreams and hopes and ways to suffer and things we like. we dont need some sort of god or higher purpose to justify our existence, just what we personally care about
it’s not about forcing yourself to be happy and make others happy. that’s an obligation, a stated goal ascribed to you despite your wishes. living without “meaning”, or more accurately objective meaning, is the opposite. it’s about doing what you want. not in a sociopathic, solipsistic way, where you dismiss others and any concept of morality out of hand. but almost as play. not that you don’t take anything seriously, mind you, but almost in that you are pursuing your whims as if you were playing a game of Minecraft. Everyone agrees destroying people’s stuff in that game is a dick move, right? And people work together to do random shit in that game all the time. We’re basically (or trying to be) playing Minecraft but the stakes are waaaaaay higher and we’re also witness to an unbelievable amount of suffering caused by structures of capital which supress all of our natural urges unless they can be fully subsumed towards profit.
and this doesn’t even mean that we can’t live without a “higher calling” or “noble purpose”, just that those are goals we become attached to and find worth and joy in naturally, not things we have prescribed to us as a required thing.
we are under no obligation to rationalize our desires and wishes, except when they come into direct conflict with other’s, or when other’s suffering and pain would be a direct result. and i honestly think this is true even if there was a god. Who is a god to prescribe the purpose of our existence to us? Is it just because God is more powerful than us and made us? Powerful people who make things are wrong all the time about those things. Is it because God is meant to be always right? According to whom? In whose interest? For what goals? Unless this God has all goals, that could ever be possible, simultaneously. Which is an absurd and incomprehensible concept. This God would still have no authority over what our goals are, merely the ability to suggest (though in a God’s case, very strongly, but still). Just like everyone else.
So what difference even is it for the world to have a meaning made by God or somebody or to have none at all? You’d have to subjectively accept that God’s goals as being your own, just like you have to for basically everything.
So the only conclusion I can make is that the lack of a God or a lack of truth or meaning means we are free, not doomed. If there is no god, then that God cannot coerce us to follow their arbitrary goals. And if there is no divine, objective meaning we must ALL follow or be punished, than what we want can be our priority. We can make our whole, all-encompassing, undeniably real and objectively true meaning(s) anything our whims pull us towards. Not in a “living in the moment” milquetoast way (i am not attacking mindfulness btw, just the idea that it’s the only respite from meaninglessness or whatever), but in a genuine, powerful, driving and future-acknowledging way that we are supposed to exclusively reserve for “true meaning”. And nobody can take that away from you, because nihilism doesn’t, nor christianity, nor capitalism, nor any philosophical concept known to man, have anything that can debunk or disprove that. We, you, everyone has genuinely good reasons and drives to want the things we want, to have the meanings we find meaning in. To deny that is a fundamental denial of reality, a fundamental denial of one’s very self, not in an enlightened way but in a sad way caused by domination, driven by the constant overshadowing influence of a dead God and a very much alive and very malicious Capital which urges us to justify our every actions and wish. But we don’t have to. We can tell it to fuck off and then we can continue drawing pictures of garfield making out with sans (and then fighting for communism because adobe just sent all of your garfield pictures to some ai chatbot to regurgitate and fuck us all over with infinite slop).
to me absurdism isn’t so much about looking at existential meaningless light-heartedly as it is about reconciling with the notion of it—by spitting in the face of the universe’s cruel indifference and arbitrarily inventing personal meaning.
it’s like aiming to live a life that you alone feel is purposeful just because you can, in spite of the will of any higher power or lack thereof that tries to rob you of it.
it’s like aiming to live a life that you alone feel is purposeful just because you can, in spite of the will of any higher power or lack thereof that tries to rob you of it.
i haven’t really considered that interpretation of it but that does sound very based
Nothing in nature has any intrinsic value, that doesnt mean you cant create one for yourself
Marx, when talking about Louis Bonaparte, wrote “[People] make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past.”
Obviously, the point Marx was making here is that, we are all products of the accumulation of history. We would not be here, in the way that we are, if it were not for the never-ending march of time, and with it, our history. However, the inverse is also true, in that, the actions we take now and today, forever forge a link in the chain of history. Do not be distracted by the grandiose notion of “history”, however. History is not all things that find their way into the pages of a textbook. History is not just the epic of time, but it is also a personal and intimate story, of which you and your relations are the subject of.
So what of the links you forge? What of your familial bonds, your connections to friends, your entanglement with your greater community? Your legacy is your relations. To say nothing matters is to reject the notion that our actions in the material world have no impact on the development of ourselves and of our future selves, and the development of those we leave behind.
If you can reframe your point of view around this notion that your actions in the world lead to developments within others, then it’s difficult to see how nothing matters. Every time you show up for someone who needs assistance, it matters. Every time you take up an activity, that gives back in some way, it matters. It can be difficult to read and hear about all the events of the time we live in. It can feel as though, nothing you do moves the needle. You must take that energy and direct it locally. Once you can see the results of your local actions, you will see a change in yourself and in how you feel about what “matters”.
To rephrase Marx in a more modern way: “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you”
Haha I both love and hate that this quote is so popular.
turns out this is the perfect comment to be reading while blasting a synthwave rendition of Komm, Süsser Tod
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
girl i just get high
I think you’re supposed to try existentialism first, then jump to absurdism.
Anyway try reading the Principia Discordia. I don’t know if it hits as hard when you’re not a fourteen year old atheist stuck in the religious south, but maybe.
DONT READ THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA. Discodianism is some ancap shit, I know I did it. You can skip that step,
The heck about discordianism is ancap? I can offer plenty of complaints about it but I just don’t see that one.
I’m conflating the whole thing with Robert Anton Wilson cause he did kinda become Rhe Guy for it, and have you read his stuff?
Never heard of him.
The Principia Discordia is enough discordianism for any (un)reasonable person, I didn’t go looking for more.
You probably should. It’s cringe at beat and proto Elon at worst
Why would I go out of my way to read something cringe?
This is what you’re advocating
So you won’t be ignorant about what you’re promoting?
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I didn’t, but everyone who followed it did. Discordians mostly read the Principia cause they read illiminatus and that the Joe Rogan experience of the 70s in novel form. Christians generally haven’t been great at following Christ either. At this point it’s wooks, crypto fascists, Jreg guys, people that take credit for Q Annon and stir that pot cause Operation Mindfuck. Weird idiots are really really into this stuff now
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Got into it as a late teen who was living with Gen x hippies and yeah, it seems cool but it’s gotta be one of the worst crowds out there.
Have you tried pushing that down deep and never dare confronting it?
why avoid it? it’s a wonderful truth. we are surrounded by the most profound sandbox one could possibly imagine, one where even our purpose itself is up to our own choices.
Just imagine Sisyphus cumming or whatever the saying is
I think you need to get some shorts in a bright color, preferably flower print
Life-hack: Whenever the ennui comes knocking, just start speculating about alien life intelligent or otherwise, you’ll either scare or awe yourself out of that depressive feeling, at least that’s what I do
alternatively, rationalize that your ennui isn’t because there’s no way to have meaning, but that you are experiencing depression and your ability to find motivation or purpose is being severely hampered by neurological and bodily differences which are making everything super hard for you, leading you to rationalize your own misery as being caused by a lack of meaning when in reality it’s because everything just sucks and you can’t vocalize or even notice most of the factors in that and tbh thinking it’s because of a lack of true meaning is understandable given how weird the whole brain thing is
One of the many problems with “stewing in ennui” types like Camus is that they represent finding meaning in life as a matter of internal psychology, not just something rational but something that is rationalized. For many people, it is engagement with the world that acts as a precondition to experiencing meaning, rather than an experience of meaning somehow preceding anything meaningful. My suggestion to you based on what you say is to go do stuff with people.
Personally I’m on the train of thought that the question of life being meaningless is meaningless in practice, at least to me. Who cares if it’s meaningless in a universal sense? I have a life, people I care about, things which are important to me. Isn’t that meaning?
In a bigger picture sense, I think the industrial revolution and the corresponding Enlightenment allowed scientific analysis to creep into and chip away at the foundation of western religions, without removing the reason people resort to religion. (E.g. Marx’s “religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature”.) In a socialist or communist society, one’s labor directly develops the individual (at the same time as it develops society), and in this sense one can find meaning in developing oneself and humanity. In pre-socialist society where labor is alienated, this avenue to meaning and self development is cut off, and so in modern society the individual finds themselves constantly experiencing a crisis of meaning. Enter nihilism.
For me, the clear direction and path for meaning in modern, atheist society is to find meaning in the class struggle.
I’m no philosopher, so that’s just my layman take.
It’s tough to passively live in an absurdist mentality. Especially with the heavy indoctrination into the abrahamic value structure embedded in most world cultures. It’s something to keep reminding yourself of. That being said, you’re allowed to give yourself a purpose that means something to you. It doesn’t have to just be “everything is meaningless”, it can instead be “everything is meaningless so I might as well make it better.”
To say the same thing a different way. Nihilism says “nothing matters so why do anything”, which is a very easy passive emotion to sink into. Absurdism says “nothing matters so why not do everything”, which requires actively choosing to do something. The latter option sounds a bit more fun to me, even if it takes a little effort.
well technically absurdism is based on the idea that nothing matters and attempting to create any personal meaning is a doomed attempt so you should just give up hope while still trying. i disagree with this mostly just because i think it’s sort of a placid acceptance of said abrahamic mindset, an admission that you think that it is fundamentally impossible to give yourself direction without a God, even though it objectively is possible to do so. Camus conflation with the unabashed pursuance of one’s own goals, and placid service to God, is probably the most weird thing I’ve heard about him. it is absolutely not philosophical suicide to simply do things you know you want to do because (satisfaction/socialization/pleasure/interest/curiosity/hunger/horniness/vague musings). I think the way I’ve heard about the concept, as the idea that the futile search for truth and meaning is a price we pay to experience the joys of life, is telling. Camus still thinks he needs to justify what he wants to do in his life with some sort of higher purpose, which isn’t surprising, so many people seem to think that even nowadays. Even though you can just… do things you want. If you were to have a true meaning or objective purpose it would literally not effect you in any way except negatively.