• Shelena
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    10 months ago

    Save your sister, she is not okay. You are not an inferior person, there is nothing inherently wrong with you. You are not responsible for everything. Your boundaries matter. Your feelings matter. You will be okay.

  • gloriousspearfish@feddit.dk
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    10 months ago

    You fight much bigger problems that others around you. Your way of thinking is definitely not normal, seek diagnosis and help. Life is not supposed to be this complicated mentally.

  • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml
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    10 months ago

    “You’re trans lul, and don’t worry about coming out your mom is nice and dad doesn’t give a fuck” Honestly would probably make my childhood harder but would make my mid/late teens onward a lot less confusing and painful.

  • Omnifarious@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Hit the gym and stay consistent about it. Not only will you feel better about yourself you’ll also be able to manage the physical pain you will have a lot better.

          • Dandroid@dandroid.app
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            10 months ago

            A lot of people will have negative things to say about this, but good for you. Alcohol is not necessary for a full, happy life. For people that enjoy it in moderation, awesome. But there’s nothing wrong with not liking it or not even being interested in trying it in the first place.

            • TehPers@beehaw.org
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              10 months ago

              Kinda in the same position, I don’t drink, never have (though I’ve had it in my mouth), and don’t really ever plan to. Not really interested ngl, and I’ve seen it go wrong enough to know how bad it can get.

              That being said, I have no issues with anyone who does, in moderation at least. If they’re having fun, then that’s great for them!

  • makuus@pawb.social
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    10 months ago

    Whatever comes of it—whether you get hurt, or whether you get suspended—you just need to lay your bullies out.

    They won’t ignore you. They won’t go away, no matter how hard you work to be unnoticeable. It’s trying to do that—to be invisible so that they’ll leave you alone—that will change the course of your life for the worse. You won’t be a high achiever, you won’t go to a good school, you’ll just coast, forever suffering the damage they did, and regretting that you didn’t do anything about it.

    The only thing they’ll understand is the kind of violence that says you’re not worth fucking with. Don’t worry what Mom will think. Don’t worry about the pain of a punch or two. Don’t worry about your “permanent record”. All that will be temporary in the grand scheme of things.

    • Shelena
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      10 months ago

      I am sorry to hear that. It is not your fault. It is the fault of the bullies who did it and it is the fault of the adults that did not protect you. You were just a child. You cannot be expected to solve something so difficult as bullying all by yourself. Many adults cannot even do that. Apparently, the adults in your environment could not solve it, so how could you be expected to do it?

      Regretting it does not help. Regretting it just prolongs the pain. It just keeps the idea alive that it is somehow your own fault and that you had control. You did not have control. However, you do have control now.

      If you still feel invisible, do something about it. You do not need to still keep suffering the damage. That is something you actually can do something about now.

  • Squirrel_Patrol@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    You’re experiencing abuse and it’s not normal. You also don’t have to put up with your family because they’re your family.

    • s_s@lemmy.one
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      10 months ago

      Ah yeah, just withdraw all the liquidity that is most certainly there…

      You have just demonstrated more faith in neolib pretendy dollaridos than I have or will never have.

  • argv_minus_one@beehaw.org
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    10 months ago

    I can’t think of anything I’d tell myself, but I do know what I’d tell my parents: use condoms.

    • Shelena
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      10 months ago

      This one seems very sad. I hope you are okay.

      • argv_minus_one@beehaw.org
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        10 months ago

        I’m stuck on a planet whose civilization is rapidly turning into a feudalist dystopia. We’ll all be lucky to have roofs over our heads in 10 years. Also, it’ll be impossible to survive without air conditioning. So no, I am not okay.

        • Shelena
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          10 months ago

          I think that is the most negative scenario of what could happen. I mean, you hear and see the effects of climate change more and more around you. I am also extremely worried about it. But I have still some hope that we find ways to at least keep it liveable. I do see some progress. It is not fast enough, but I hope that it will go faster once the effects become more obvious and more people actually feel the pressure. I do not think we can complete avoid climate change anymore, but we still might be able to mitigate the most horrible effects. That is what I see in the scientific papers on it, at least.

          The only sure way we will not make it, is by giving up.

            • Shelena
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              10 months ago

              True. I mean these issues are all related. But for that it is the same, I think. There is a chance to make it better, unless you give up. I rather try and fail than never try. Of course succeeding is even better.

              I think one of the main issues is that people believe that we need to live like this. That there is no other option than this capatalistic nightmare. And that these businesses and money is so powerful that we can do nothing about it. People believing that makes them not act. It keeps the status quo. I think if we can change this, we have already won half the battle.

              • argv_minus_one@beehaw.org
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                10 months ago

                Change it how, exactly? Everything is going to hell because the rich are intentionally forcing it to go to hell, and most people are blissfully oblivious and blame brown/gay/trans/poor people for their problems.

                • Shelena
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                  10 months ago

                  There are many ways to make changes. Most of them are small, but they add up. You can do a lot in your daily life and by picking jobs that contribute (if you have the opportunity). For example, I try to buy stuff second-hand as much as possible. I do not use the big commercial social media, unless it is for work. I have a background in IT and I am focusing on designing systems to support a circular economy, amongst others. I try to be open to discussion with others about this stuff to better understand their issues.

                  I know there is a lot of power on the other side. But we are not powerless. If people are forcing things k go to hell, do not let them. If people are oblivious, try to inform them. If people are discouraged, be kind and try to provide a more hopeful perspective.

                  And this is not going to work all the time and you are going to fail a lot of the time. But you might sometimes succeed as well. And, it makes me much happier if I can say that I tried and did not just sit and watch everything going to shit. And I genuinely believe that there are chances to make things better. We just have to try and figure out how until it works.