DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.
To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren’t high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.
Flying spaghetti monster feels quite obvious
Beyond that I’m vegan so I’d eat snacks off Aphrodite’s belly, therefore snacking upon Aphrodite
I would most prefer the Tyrant (the judeo-muslim-Christian God) because nothing tastes better than vindictive spite.
A bite of the Ouroboros, why should the serpent be the only one that gets a taste of itself?
I bet Aphrodite would taste divine.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I’ve been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.
All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.
I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I’m not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I’d consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.
I bet Jörmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.
I mean Jesus is pretty tasty in small doses as is.
Just go looking for the chocolate one
Came here for this… I mean, he did say Eat Me. (Not like that, sicko.) This is my body, tastes like good crust bread.
He probably worked on it a bit before he died. Like ate a lot of Sage and Thyme at the last supper or something.
Jesus wafers with grape jelly is something I’d definitely snack on.
They’d dip them in wine.
Grape jelly could be considered solid wine
I’ve actually tried that once, but the Jesus wafer ended up real soggy.
Didn’t Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.
The problem with ingesting Zeus is that I’d have a good chance (nearly 100% based on my Greek mythology knowledge) I’d end up being pregnant and incurring Hera’s wrath, or being whisked to Olympus as his winebearer… or both!
Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It’s almost as big as me!
Ok, hear me out… Minotaur sausages.
Dibs on the prime rib!
Oooooo, imagine the anger packed in them.
Dionysus has gotta taste like wine.
A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you’d have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.
Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don’t want to eat any steel type Pokemon.
Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.
I don’t mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.
I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn’t that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?
Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?
I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it’s in the DM’s prerogative. If I were DM, I’d say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.
Slicing off a Phoenix’s wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.
Moreover, I’d stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.
EDIT:
Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to “its original body”. Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its “immortality”.
How about if we take the legs, then burn the rest to ashes so it would reemerge.
Prometheus Liverwurst?
Wow… Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.
Ironically, the best.
A nice Caribbean Faun curry sounds delicious.
I drink trash wine and love carbs anyway so I’m going with Jesus.
