Oh, you think it’s funny that I turn red and have palpitations when I eat spicy food? You think that just because I’m white my pain and suffering doesn’t matter? That eating spicy food hurts my delicate little tongue and far more delicate little asshole? I might get dehydrated from sweating too much, that’s dangerous you know. You get a real good laugh when you order habanero salsa for the table, and then when I try to say I don’t want any all my poc friends start chanting “SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY” until I load up a chip and begin a 3-4 hour medical ordeal that only ends when I shit my pants while running to the bathroom? Is this a joke to you? I already put black pepper on the table. Any more flavor out here and I might literally have a heart attack, and science proves it. I just want to be able to fully appreciate the ingredients of my dish, whole boiled potatoes and salted meat. If that makes me a SALTINE BOY then so be it. I will not eat the peppers, and I will not get into the pod.

If you all keep teasing me I’m going to join lemm.ee and give you an aneurysm with my liberalism.

  • eight [it/its]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    “The food of the true revolutionary is the red pepper, and he who cannot endure red peppers is also unable to fight.” -Mao Zedong

    Sorry, I don’t make the rules, lib.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Apparently there are two kinds of white people in America.

    Those who consider oregano a wildly exotic spice, and those who buy gallon jugs of a sauce that doubles as aligator poison.

    • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Yeah it’s kinda sad to me with the MEGA CHILI DEATH MURSER SAUCE “enjoyers” that put some weird thing with a scoville level only achievable thru synthetic addition of capsaicin on their food in order to prove how manly they are or whatever.
      I like spicy food, no need to make it my personality though

  • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I do wish I could eat spicy food without my nose running like crazy. I like the flavor and can handle it emotionally but I can’t help how my sinuses react.

    So I end up eating spicy stuff all the time when I’m alone but avoid it around others because having to blow my nose three times during a meal is embarrassing lol

  • Zezzy [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Gonna pour one out for all my serranos and jalapeños in my former garden. Only got to eat one serrano angery The part of the garden with peppers didn’t fully burn, but they were all well roasted, soft, and in the unsafe temperature zone for days

  • GenderIsOpSec [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    im white enough to reflect light yet i never have a problem with spicy foods messing up my stomach, or any foods really.

    just built to be a carbage disposal trash mammal ig gigachad

  • Smeagolicious [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I want to eat my old favorite spicy noodles but they all include fuckin beef or pork in the sauce/stock. Hardest thing about trying to eat more ethically was not dropping meat, but all the foods that have secret hidden meat/animal products for no damn reason.

    Anyway I get symptoms 1 & 2, but never experienced the severe distress cracker-Americans won’t shut up about. Can we also talk about that? How mfs wanna interject and expound at length about their burning asshole whenever you mention Indian, SE Asian, Latin American etc. cuisine.

  • culpritus [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    It’s about the journey, not the destination.

    I’m pretty lmayo, but I still think it’s worth it. Serranos are one of my preferred peppers. Nice medium heat with tons of flavor.

    • Huldra [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I have to wonder if like the stomach issues stuff is more fast food trouble than spicy food trouble, because I’ve never noticed stomach troubles either and I either get spicy stuff homemade or get it from places at least 1 tier above fast food chains.

      Feels like either that, people getting comically hot peppers as a dumb joke on themselves, or just like some people genuinely have the wrong stomach genes for it.

      • ped_xing [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        I was once a ridiculously spicy person, massively overdid it once and am now just a spicy person. Spice-induced gastritis is real. I eat all sorts of crap, but only the red sauce from the kati rolls place is going to make me swell up and hurt the next day. Avoid spicy challenges unless you know exactly what you’re getting into – ideally by going with friends and splitting the fissile material.

      • I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically. I can eat fresh peppers and cooked peppers when they’re made at home and I’ll be a mess while eating with watery eyes and a runny nose, but that will be it. If I eat spicy fast food or spicy processed snacks it will be a bad 24 hours

        I know the human body digests material at differing rates depending on what it is. Proteins are primarily digested in the stomach, starches are digested in the mouth and small intestine, and lipids are digested in the small intestine. So it makes sense to me that when the capsaicin has been emulsified it will pass through the stomach and then be felt in the intestines. (Disclaimer: it’s been a while since I had education on this topic, may be misremembered/outdated information)

        • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically.

          Spiced oils are some diabolical shit. I don’t know the science behind why, but I’ve made my own sauces and pastes at home, and the oil I make with the same ingredients is by far the hottest. I can’t put more than a quarter teaspoon into a gallon of soup if I want my family to eat it.

          (naturally, its my favourite now)

    • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      It’s probably because you eat spicy food all the time. If your body isn’t used to spicy food (or is used to it but you eat something overwhelmingly spicy, like when the men were allowed to cook on one of the nights leading up to my Indian neighbours wedding) you’ll get the digestive effects as your body tries to get rid of the cause of the pain signals. If you’re regularly eating spicy food your body already knows the deal though, and won’t try to reject it.