I wear UGG boots in winter because it’s fucking cold.

I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don’t have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn’t well insulated.

The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It’s audible and I’m sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn’t like that, I think he’s taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I’m trying to show him.

So the question for the Lemmy community is:

How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn’t like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he’s out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?

What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn’t receive a shock?

Edit: standard Australian house and furniture

Another edit: I’m all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I’m loving the immediate response that I’d never have gotten on Deaddit.

Again: I can’t stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal

And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You’ve all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I’ll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x

Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn’t have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner’s leg as it’s usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It’s important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.

  • adj16@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I have no advice for you, as I live in a very humid place without very much risk of static shocks. I just want to say this question and post are hilarious.

        • sp00nix@lemmy.ml
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          10 months ago

          This is the way. My last place was so dry, I would get zapped touching the metal frame in my desk and reboot my PC. I installed a humidifier into the central heat, no more zaps!

  • HurlingDurling@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    No metal? Get some Megadeath albums to fix that.

    Here in the us there are certain fabric sprays that help with static buildup, so there might be some alternative over there in Australia.

    A humidifier will also work but is pricier in comparison.

    Lastly you can wrap a cover cable to your anke and burry the other side in the ground 😆

    • boogetyboo@aussie.zoneOP
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      10 months ago

      Does mumbling ‘the ace of spades’ to myself over and over work? Because I was already doing that due to playing cards earlier

      • omalaul@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Contrary to popular belief the metal is in the mustache, not the lyrics. I think there was a mythbuster episode about it or something

  • Kyle@lemmy.ca
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    10 months ago

    I’ve read all the responses here and am horrified that you seem to live in an ungrounded plastic bubble. Is that a Canberra thing? Or can’t even find a small metal object the size of a coin to make discharging painless, how why?

    If it’s an old house there should be tonnes of metal things to touch.

    Corners of walls, radiators or central air vents or return air vents, screws on switches or power outlets, furniture with metal bits on it, sinks taps and water fixtures with metal parts, thermostat, fireplace casing.

    Literally touch everything and report back.

    • boogetyboo@aussie.zoneOP
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      10 months ago

      Not an old houuse (2015 build), not sure if we have coins but I’ll check…

      No vents in reach and certainly no radiators, no screws… No metal furniture… No screws… The sink didn’t work… No fireplace.

      I’m not in Coober Pedy but may as well be it seems!

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        10 months ago

        My partner has this problem a lot. The fridge zaps her pretty often (metal door and handle). There must be a metal surface somewhere on yours? Maybe the shelves? Or the stove / oven?

        ETA: As a person who occasionally kicks my kitties when I go to the bathroom in the dark, I sympathize. It’s a terrible feeling when you startle or hurt them. Luckily, they seem to know that I’m a clumsy idiot and accept my immediate apologies.

      • dan@upvote.au
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        10 months ago

        If you have a desktop computer with a metal case, touch the case.

  • Fermion
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    10 months ago

    Two suggestions: run a humidifier. Preferably use a steam one with distilled water. The ultrasonic cool mist ones introduce any minerals and bacteria that are in the water into the air.

    The easiest suggestion is to change your blanket. I’m guessing you’re wrapping yourself in a fuzzy fleece blanket. Synthetic fibers like polyester transfer way more static charge than natural fibers. Try looking for a cotton or wool throw. Or for something fuzzy, find a sheep pelt with wool on it. Even using a cotton sheet between you and your current blanket should reduce the amount of charge buildup.

    A side benefit of changing blanket materials, is that any blanket that generates a lot of static charge also holds loads of dust and pet hairs. A less static generating blanket will stay cleaner longer.

    The easiest way to discharge is to touch a metal faucet. If you have copper pipes, they’ll be grounded, but even just the tap water is conductive enough to dissipate most of the charge.

  • MrGerrit
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    10 months ago

    If by any chance you have wall sockets with the ground connection exposed, you could touch that before petting the good boy/girl.

    • MidnightAppetite@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I am not well versed enough in electrical engineering to say if this is actually safe, but telling someone to stick their electrically charged fingers in a plug socket is probably the most hilarious response in this thread

      • azertyfun@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        Static electricity is unrelated to the danger of a socket.

        Furthermore, all the exposed conductors on a socket built in the last 50+ years should be ground. Otherwise people (especially children) would kill themselves all the time. Modern plugs won’t even allow you to reach the live wire without pressing against both holes at once.

        However North American plugs have an enormous design flaw, where half plugged-in appliances can expose current on the exposed pins of the plug (which is why modern plugs have a partial rubber coating).

        • Mothra@mander.xyz
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          10 months ago

          I remember getting zapped like that when I was a child, unplugging an old lamp that didn’t have the coating on the plug. It was just a scare fortunately.

      • rbesfe@lemmy.ca
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        10 months ago

        You don’t need to be versed in electrical engineering to know the basic fact that electrical sockets are impossible to hurt yourself with just by sticking your fingers near the holes

    • OADINC
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      10 months ago

      Same thing for radiators and their supply/return lines. Those should be grounded as well. Also the sink.

  • quindraco@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    Anything conductive and grounded. For example, a lamp with a steel or copper body.

      • Thisfox@sopuli.xyz
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        10 months ago

        Yeah they might be cheap, but there is a grounding law here in Australia, so legally those cheap Canberra lamps are required to have a ground. Personally I would recommend your front door, but knowing Canberra your pot plant might be more accessible.

  • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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    10 months ago

    You probably need to get a humidifier. Low humidity is very common in the winter, and creates (or at least encourages) static buildup. Added bonus is that it will make your place feel warmer at the same time.

    You may also want to invest in better insulation. Even if you just rent, there are a variety of cheap and temporary options that can save you a bundle on heating and cooling.

    • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      If it’s cold and the place isn’t that well insulated, adding humidity can lead to disastrous results.

      The humidity will build up and cling to the windows, it can freeze breaking the seals, but it can also run off into the wall causing mold and damage to the framing and anything else.

      You shouldn’t have the humidity above 35%rh below freezing, unless you have very specific reasons too (hard wood, piano, health) but be prepared for additional costs eventually in some form. Wheter it’s upgrading to allow the house to do it, fixing issues, or preventing damage.

      Also, raising the humidity makes the air feel colder not warmer, so that’s just plain false.

    • Mothra@mander.xyz
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      10 months ago

      I’ve always felt humidity in winter/cold weather feels more cold, not warm. Am I alone in this appreciation of temperature?

      • MrsDoyle@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I live in Scotland and yes, you don’t want to be damp in cold weather. It feels miserable. You douse yourself in water to cool down on a hot day, don’t you? In winter you do your best to keep snug and dry.

        Re the static issue, give the dog a treat every time you shock it, train it to enjoy being shocked. 👹

      • NaN@lemmy.sdf.org
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        10 months ago

        You are not. A dry cold is not as bone chilling as a humid one. I assume there is something about body heat warming up water molecules or denser air or something.

    • boogetyboo@aussie.zoneOP
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      10 months ago

      I own the place but honestly, we’ve got “feature weeds” in our back yard so insulation is just another thing on the list

      • sharpiemarker@feddit.de
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        10 months ago

        I’m going to agree with the other commenter. We had the same issue and started running a humidifier and it resolved the static issues. Not only is it uncomfortable for your pet, but it’s also really bad for your electronics.

        • Square Singer@feddit.de
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          10 months ago

          Watch out with the type of humidifier though. Standing water and parts that never dry (e.g. inside hoses in the humidifier) are perfect breeding grounds for bacteria. And “cool mist” type humidifiers use ultrasonic frequencies to atomize all that crap that builds up in your humidifier and spread it into nice little droplets, which are perfect for getting germs really deep into your lungs.

          If you tend to get respiratory infections quite often, your humidifier might be to blame.

          • boogetyboo@aussie.zoneOP
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            10 months ago

            Mate, my lungs are mostly chalk and I have half the sinus space of most humans. Humidifiers just sound like my version of Skynet

            • Square Singer@feddit.de
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              10 months ago

              My son has a chronic respiratory illness, and as much as I’d love to raise the humidity in my flat, doing so using a humidifier would probably send him to the hospital pretty fast.

                • Square Singer@feddit.de
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                  10 months ago

                  Humidity yes, bacteria and other germs, especially germs that can live in water are a massive no-go. Germs like Pseudomonas aeruginosa would give him a permanent lung infection and many strains of it are resistant to pretty much all antibiotics.

                  For people with his condition, a Pseudomonas infection is usually the point where stuff like sports or even walking up stairs permanently ends.

                  So raising humidity isn’t bad, but the means to do so are a killer, literally.

                  Btw, thanks for the downvote. I’m sure you know much more about the illness of my child, an illness that I haven’t even named here, than I do, who has to make sure that kid survives. Seriously, that kind of behaviour triggers me so much. That happens so often, that people who haven’t even heard of that illness before know everything better. It seriously makes me angry.

                  That kid spent ~5% of his life in hospital, getting IV antibiotics due to his condition. He takes ~30 doses of medicine a day, just to keep him alive. But people who wouldn’t even know how to spell the condition think they know better.

                  Pro tip: If you aren’t affected by the specific illness in question / aren’t taking care of someone who is, keep your armchair medical knowledge to yourself.

          • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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            10 months ago

            you can make a humidifier with a bowl of water with a towel in it, for faster humidification add more bowls and towels.

          • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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            10 months ago

            There are a few different types of humidifiers out there. Here are the 3 main types:

            1. Vaporizers. These literally just heat the water until it boils, and the steam evaporates into the air. They use a lot of electricity, which also creates a lot of heat (note: exactly the same amount of you have an electric resistor furnace). They can be a safety risk (because boiling water), and require frequent cleaning/descaling if you have hard water. IMHO, these also make the air feel more humid.

            2. Evaporators. These are basically just a fan over a wet towel. Very cheap, very low energy. Often less effective. As they are effectively standing water, you have to be careful to keep them clean or the nasties will grow quickly. This is also the type that “whole home” humidifiers typically are.

            3. Ultrasonic. These are very popular these days, and may randomly be sold as cool mist, warm mist (if they have a small heating element). Low energy options that vibrate the water into a fine mist, which then evaporates. But they will also vibrate everything else in your water into the air. These deposits, like calcium or limestone, can affect your breathing. They will also leave dust all over everything you own. Recommend using distilled water for these.

  • El Gringo Loco@lemmy.one
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    10 months ago

    I’ve lived in Denver for the past 15 years or so, this is a problem I relate to. If you live in a house or apartment with drywall, it turns out that the corners are made of metal under the plaster. For years I have discharged myself by bumping my forearms against the corner of a wall before flipping a light switch to avoid a painful shock on the tips of my fingers

    • Kyle@lemmy.ca
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      10 months ago

      Yeah wall corners are often metal and the paint on it seems to soften the discharge.

    • CmdrShepard@lemmy.one
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      10 months ago

      A stove, washing machine or other large electrical appliance with a metal case and grounding pin on the plug should work too. The chassis is connected to an earth ground.

  • Primarily0617@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    Order a giant metal statue of your dog to put pride of place in your home as an apology to the dog

    As a bonus, it will function as something you can touch to earth yourself

    alternatively you could try an anti-static wrist strap but i’m not sure it’ll help since you still need something to ground it against

    • VegaLyrae@kbin.social
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      10 months ago

      If you get the grounding box you can have an antistatic collar for the dog and a strap for the human. Plug both in and you’re both at the same potential.

      Alternatively the human can touch the banana plug side of the strap, as the in-built resistor will “slowly” equalize the charges between you. I say slowly because in human terms as soon as you touch its already done.

      @boogetyboo

      The ugg boots may be electrically isolating as well, so a heel-strap is typically worn in ESD environments to overcome insulated soles. In combination with a grounding floor mat, this works without having to think too much about it.

      Additionally, you can get a humidifier and maintain a relative humidity above 40%. Thankfully you don’t need insulation to do this!

      Source: nasa esd training

  • kool_newt@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    My mom makes a chain of safety pins (about 8-10 long) and attaches it to her clothes. Then you grab the chain and touch things with it (or it touches things as it dangles) to discharge w/o pain or hurting others. I tried it, seemed to work.

  • NorthWestWind@iusearchlinux.fyi
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    10 months ago

    Hold your key’s metal part and touch some other metal that is earthed to discharge yourself.

    By holding the key, you provide a way bigger surface area for transferring the charge, so it won’t hurt you.

  • Mothra@mander.xyz
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    10 months ago

    How about a chain, mate? You can get one at Bunnings by the metre. You can place this somewhere convenient and touch it with the quarter as another commenter said. Not sure if carrying one in your pocket and casually dragging it on the floor would work.

    Alternatively just stick a fork in a plant pot, that’ll do for grounded metal I hope