My gf(30) revealed she has gone through my phone behind my back and during an argument brought up a message to a random woman I matched with on tinder and never met. The thing is this was a good 4-5 MONTHS before I even knew she existed. I have been very open with my phone and given her the password but I still feel betrayed. Are my feeling justified?
May I ask what you are hoping to achieve with this post? If everyone comes on here and says “yes, you are justified,” what would that mean for you and your relationship? Or, if everybody says, “no, you aren’t justified”, what would that mean?
This question could be construed as hostile, but that’s entirely my lack of ability to frame it better. I’m not trying to imply that you shouldn’t have posted this, or that it’s a bad post. I just think it’s valuable to think about these things.
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This. If I were OP, I would feel rage, betrayal, sadness, and probably a bunch of other stuff. Having sudden and intense emotions is a good time for anyone to step back and think, “Why am I reacting this way? What are these feelings trying to tell me?” And reaching out to others online is one way to rebuild a sense of trust that you’re not crazy.
Particularly because the sorts of people who creep through others’ phones without asking also tend to be the same sorts of people who gaslight, deny, project, etc… “Why are you overreacting!? It’s totally normal to be jealous! It’s because I care for you so much!” Etc…etc…
It’s all different sides of the same lack of boundaries.
Excellent username
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Absolutely, and I wasn’t trying to imply otherwise.