I’m an amazing shot but I don’t suffer from main character syndrome, so I’d be the stoned to the bone quartermaster who cleans all guns just for fun.
I literally grow beans for a living now so growing beans
The king! The king has revealed themselves!
cop
Bottomless pit supervisor
It’s gonna be a full time job keeping so many bottoms out of the pit.
Pigpoopball cleaner
Unholy
Huh, it was all a dream…
I’m the guy forcing all of the poets to mine coal and all of the coal miners to write poetry.
My hero 😍
I will be part of the straight, white male gulag. But as a straight, white, male I will take the burden upon myself to be the liaison to the Femme Queer Commune. This will be a self appointed position where I speak for my fellow straightoids on my breaks from the mines.
You fool, you think we’re gonna let the straights into our commune?
No, that’s why we’ll be quarantined off to perform manual labor.
I’m consulting with my handler, wait
Right, it looks like I’m gonna be the public facing lawyer who lives outside the compound.
I’ll pet all the cats
Cum Retrieval Specialist
Someone’s gonna have to maintain order in the horny jail and administer punishments.
News anchor
Well since nobody offered to cook, guess I’ll be
Stovetop and grilling only though I cannot be trusted with baking anything except like nachos.
I can make some mean breakfast, stir fry, kebabs, etc.
I also love gardening so that too since we would likely want to grow as many ingredients as possible.
Scaring off chasers harassing trans comrades
Here take this super special AKm I got drunk and carved “Bash Back” into the wood stock and then went over it with glitter
Sounds like a Unique
I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it’s vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.
Last time I had chili at the hexbear compound it was too spicy, and when I asked for milk you gave me soy milk and I said “nooo it doesn’t gave the enzyme that disables capsaicin!” and you all called me a milkboy nerd while I cried into my chili.
